A journey of learning from the past, growing from the lessons and sharing the experiences.
Having anxiety on a very basic level is one of the most exhausting, frustrating and tiring things to deal with. Add to that the social aspect and it can break even the strongest of people. It’s a daily struggle and takes a lot of work to really be able to stay level-headed. Now, this happens on your normal days and months so when the holidays come along, it’s difficult to not just want to sleep until it’s all over.
I’ve learned so much in my 30 years. I’ve realized that learning doesn’t stop, like, ever. It’s a constant journey of lessons, rules, expectations, guidelines, and everything in between. I think the hardest part is just looking back after learning something new and thinking, why did I not know this x time ago?
Currently, my thought is, why did I put so much pressure on myself to be flawless at all times, forever? I have always been irked by things like not finishing a project, a dish still in the sink, a half vacuumed house or just some random thing on the to-do list not being done.
I have slept in my king sized bed alone for the last two nights and I still have 1 more night to go. I’m not normally a very emotional person. I don’t carry my heart on my sleeve. I have never been the type of person to miss somebody. It’s not a feeling that I’m used to. My husband knows this. He knows that I miss my kids and I miss my parents but it never really goes further than that. I do just fine on my own. I can be alone without being lonely. It’s not to say that I don’t miss my husband; it is just a different kind of miss. I love him so much. I have never felt as though he would not come back to me. I have never doubted his love for me, his devotion or our relationship. Until last year… Continue reading “Lonely Island”→